Breathe…

Close your eyes
Listen to my lullaby
Breathe me in
When I inhale you
Taste my lips
The world outside is cold
Safe we are
Inside the warmth we know
I will push if you pull
Breathe me in
I will inhale you
Don’t be afraid
I am here
I am in you

After The Storm

Thunder rumbled in
Lightning cracked the earth
The rains washed away
All that we built on the surface
Until all that remained
Was just a little isle
Barely enough for us to survive

I held you close
A shelter from the storm
While the emptiness consumed
All we couldn’t face alone
Little by little
The tides pushed harder
My world slipped out of place
As you slipped through my fingers
I tried to hold on
But my weakness became stronger
I had to give in
To the emptiness I surrendered

The sun shone later
Failing to light a bleaker world
Blistering all sense of purpose
To remind what was taken

I have passed many a season
Staring at empty horizons
Our memories setting like the sun
I will wait for you
As the skies turn shades darker
Until I am all but consumed
Yes I will wait for you
Until forever

Waiting the Storm by Ictenbey

The Last Dance

I turn my camera on by Slightly Amazing Grace

I see you dance in the light where the world is yours
In false pretense, I sit in the dark watching my cure
Listening to your heart sing in a cadenced melody
Watching your eyes, interpreting their story
As you pick up your steps, you brighten your play
Glowing brighter than the light in your way
Illuminated in brightness, white light blindness
The words best said are the ones unspoken
The path best walked is the one not chosen
I wake up to a room of numbness and fear
And the sound of your silence
Reminds me the end is near

Serpentine Lullaby

Poison in my veins
Darkness in my eyes
Softly lulling me to sleep
Your serpentine lullaby

Whispers come in hisses
Kisses turn to bites
Choke me with your caress
Your serpentine lullaby

Agony becomes pleasure
Pleasure I can’t defy
Breathe me in, pull me closer
Your serpentine lullaby

I sink right into you
Wrap myself around inside
Pull you apart from the seams
My serpentine lullaby

One Fine Day in Una…

I was on the balcony leaning forward. I was lost in my own world, lost to what the others were talking about. The ocean, that’s where I wanted to be. I stared out at the world, I could see no ocean. I longed for it with each passing moment. The others were laughing and chatting. Here I was lost in oblivion. Then suddenly, it happened. Out of the blue, I felt it. I was jolted back from my world into reality and I looked around to see his face. Solemn as ever.

This did not happen. This did not happen.
But it did.

The others had a look of utter bewilderment in their eyes. It reflected what I was feeling. My greatest fear was dawning on me at that very moment. I was utterly confused about what had just happened, and within that moment the others burst out laughing. Jerry was guffawing, Unsilent was on his knees laughing and the girls were holding their sides. I didn’t know what to do. This was not a laughing matter, not to me at least. I looked at him again. He looked at me as if everything was normal.

THIS ISN’T NORMAL!!!

How should I react? I was confused, so afraid. I felt violated and used in that split moment in time. It felt like a big part of my life, the life I knew was just taken away.

“Why did he spank me??? Why did Papareboy spank me???”

Thought Halik, bewildered as ever.

—–

And with that bold move, Papareboy stepped out of the closet, and our lives were never the same again..

The Chase

Fighting gravity, lose the white veil
Letting go of soul, let it fly
Into the reverie that I was promised
I’m lost again, a victim of my crime

Hide the pretentious scars
Heal myself on the surface
I need the deeper wounds to survive

I am only human, to myself I must remind
I will become what I’m chasing
A victim of my own crime

I feel separation when body meets floor
Surrendered from above
I can only see what I don’t feel
I can only feel what I don’t see
Weary yet blissful, a victim of my crime
I can’t save me, but I want you to try

I’ve touched the sky and kissed rock bottom
Looking for perfection in between
I want to feel your warmth for one last time
Save me, help me make up my own mind
I am what I am chasing
The victim of my crime

Undead

I wear my heart on your sleeve
Act on your whims, thrust your blade in
Pierce my flesh and watch me bleed
Twist it around, let the blood ooze out
Onto your hands
See them glisten in the light
I see your delight
My pain is your pleasure
But a shadow in your eyes
To see me smile
With a bleeding heart
As you pined for my pain
You pined for redemption
But no, dear friend
We are far from the end
I see your confusion
Let me explain
You perceived
Your purpose to be complete
As mine bleeds to death
But take this as a lesson
You cannot kill
What is already dead

Now.Here

This moment
This frame of mind
I’m inside
Right here
Right now
Press pause and keep
My mind from running
Past this perfect place
I’ve created in my head
Stop the pretense
Kill the voices
Let me linger in this bliss
So that I can fight
The sin inside
With this strong serenity
This calm, this harmony
Right here
Right now
This is where I want to be
This is how I want to think
I just want my mind to feel
Free, again
The way it used to feel